Most people never think about the fact that when one can stand and pee, the world becomes their bathroom. Think about camping or on a long road trip when you cannot find facilities, or the line is long. Those who have the stand and pee privilege can go behind a tree or building. Everything about relieving themselves is more convenient. For many transgendered people both FTM and MTF there is so much stress that comes with using public restrooms. These are some of the messages that go through many transgendered people minds on the subject;
- will I pass
- Is anyone going to stare at me
- will I be called out
- am I safe in here
- & some are figuring out which restroom to use ~ which will be less embarrassing or more safe
Many try to hold as long as they can to avoid this entire scenario. Being someone who has now experienced both the women’s and men’s restrooms in our crazy world, I can tell you they like two different countries. In the women’s room, women talk! They make friends. They ask complete strangers to help them fix their bra strap, or solve any number of female issues. Women’s room are also sooooo much cleaner. That is the only thing I miss about the women’s room. In men’s rooms no one hardly makes eye contact or speaks. There is an occasional nod as men pass each other entering or exiting and that is it. It is not a social time as it many times is in the women’s room.
One big dilemma for FTM transgendered people is – what will people think if I always use a stall and sit to pee. Most FTM’s are very self-conscious about this. In some other countries many mothers teach boys to pee sitting so the don’t end up with drips on the toilet. There is nothing wrong with sitting and peeing! Own it or buy something to help you stand and pee.
There are now many products meant to help one pee standing. Check them out
That should give you enough to check out for now. There are also videos on how to make your own. All of these devices take some practice in the privacy of ones home before venturing into the mens room to stand at the urinal. I recommend practicing in your shower so you don’t have to wipe up the mess you will make while learning. People also say peeing from a vagina sounds different and are concerned that someone will be cognisant of the sound variation. FLUSH – or wait until someone else flushes.
All of this being said if you are a lover, family member or friend of a transgendered person be sensitive to this bathroom issue. That is can cause a great deal of stress especially early in transition . Many transgendered people are embarrassed to talk about this. Let me point out that I have also seen this rest room dilemma effect butch lesbians or feminine men who are not transgendered but don’t fit societies norm for the labeled rest room they choose to use. It would be mature and more user friendly for most if our society would get over this need to label rest rooms all together. Until they do my advice is be sensitive to others and walk into whatever bath room like you own it.
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